At least some people know what really matters. Amidst all the controversy over LGBT right

Norwegian snowboarding medal hope Torstein Horgmo has been ruled out of Sochi2014 after breaking his collar bone in an accident on the slopestyle course.

Usain Bolt is to get £500,000 for appearing at this summer's Olympics Anniversary event. Up till now Bolt has been the victim of 'punitive' tax laws which have prevented him earning these absurd sums in the past, but now the law has been changed to rectify this injustice! His British rivals, the likes of Ennis and Farah, will have to make do with a miserable £100,000 or so.

In a house in the London suburb of Ealing, hired for the occasion by a film company, an actor playing the part of an average guy, is checking in a mirror how he looks in his recently bought shirt. Out from behind the mirror steps the winner of the recent Olympic women’s heptathlon who reels off some spiel about a 2% discount. The actor/guy plays gobsmacked that this princess should emerge from behind his mirror, announce some cashback offer then humiliate him over his new shoes.

‘I think the Vitality programme is absolutely brilliant – everything I stand for is echoed in the values of Vitality.’ These are the inane words of Olympic heroine Jessica Ennis, now earning a fast buck as a ‘Vitality Ambassadress’ through which she will ‘participate in a number of marketing activities…which add value to the Vitality proposition’. Diplomatically, she continues ‘we all love to be rewarded for our hard work to get healthy…’

Forget about the importance of taking part. Rory McIlroy is in an uncomfortable position, on the horns of a dilemma. Should he play golf at Rio 2016 for the UK, apparently his preference, or Ireland? The Irish tried to help him make up his mind by offering to let him carry the flag, but this only seems to have added to the pressure so that now he may not play at all!

Earlier reports of the closure of the London Fields Lido seem to have been exaggerated. According to Hackney an agreement was signed to allow the American Paralympic swimming team to use the pool 'for a few hours a day'. The website says the deal will mean 'local people can look forward to seeing Paralympic swimmers train and children of all abilities will receive coaching from top international athletes' and Hackney will receive various pieces of 'Olympic and Paralympic memorabilia' for its London 2012 archive.